The FAME (Fiji Awards for Media Excellence) people still have yet to come up with a category for profound malapropisms... which could be sponsored by the Military Regime's Department of Silly Talks. Case in point, the statement by Military Council's Attorney-General, El Haj Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum that we should not obsess over March 2009 election timetable (Fiji Sun 15/7/08). This to a people who are constantly accused, by those from more time-efficient cultures, of following "Fiji-time", moku-siga and my favourite Fiji Islands mantra, "why do yesterday what you could do next week."
I know the Sayed-Khaiyum family, consider Aiyaz and Riyaz close friends and have even celebrated Eid with their family. So this isn't a personal attack. However, I would like to take on this call to be less obsessed with time and take it as far as it goes. Could he then ask FICRA, FEA, Telecom and all those places that we have accounts and dinau to also not obsess about timelines for payments?
And if...oops... I mean...when this Elections, which is taking in eschatological proportions (i.e. almost as big as the Second Coming of my and maybe your Lord) does happen, again if Il Duce/Herr Diktator /Comrade Frank and the Politburo..er..Military Council do feel Fiji (the country), at 36 years old and counting, is eligible to vote; will they kindly not obsess over how long it will take bubu to come from the koro to vote and keep the poll booths open late to allow for last minute vote-shopping, vote-buying and vote casting?
And if we're a bit slow from all the kava we've been drinking while we've been waiting for our chance to vote, will they give us time (and allow us to keep our sunglasses on) to try and make sense of the ballot paper or meditate and reflect on who we should vote for ... or just take a short nap?
Mind you while we're not obsessing over time here, may be they'll tell us not to obsess over the timeline between casting votes and the announcement of who won the lottery and gets to be the next government to be removed at gunpoint.
Well at least there's an upside... we pulpit pounders may not have to worry about people looking at their watches if our sermons are too long... as long as we're preaching about the elections.